


Steps

by Ava_now



Series: Barisi Dads AU--The Tween Years [5]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Birthday Parties, Case fic (kinda), Domestic Moments, Family is complicated, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Loving Husbands, M/M, adopted kids, great dads, new stepfamily, parenting disagreements, so is the law
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:34:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_now/pseuds/Ava_now
Summary: Lucia Barba is now a Martinez, and the Barba and Martinez families are trying to blend at one of the most difficult times in the Martinez family's lives.  Mateo's brother Lucas has been arrested for sexually abusing his nine-year old niece Isabel, and while the majority of the family believes the little girl, they have questions as to how this could have happened.  Isabel's mother, Camila, is having a particularly difficult time with it all, and Rafael has taken it upon himself to try to help his new stepsister as much as he can.Rafael's family, however, is not quite as trusting.  Marlene still is angry with her new cousin for once accusing Rafael of being an abuser himself.  On top of that, Marley's dealing with the unpredictable drama of her biological mom.  And Sonny has decided to keep his friend Isaiah on retainer for his husband, in case anything else happens--without telling Rafael.It's anyone's guess as to whether the steps they take will continue to be together, in the right direction...or if they're actually moving apart.TW: CHILD ABUSE/MOLESTATION DISCUSSED THROUGHOUT FIC
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Series: Barisi Dads AU--The Tween Years [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2015269
Comments: 23
Kudos: 30





	1. They Say It's Your Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: Child physical, sexual, and verbal abuse; spousal abuse (ALL primarily in discussion, but some in flashback form)
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> This fic follows "Unveiled" very closely, and gives the background to this one, so it may be helpful to read that first.
> 
> Please know there will be ongoing trigger warnings (listed above) throughout the fic.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

“Isabel!” Sonny greeted the girl as she arrived, carefully carrying an elaborately wrapped present. “It’s so good to see you, sweetie! Hey Rory! Hey,Camila.” He leaned forward to kiss his sister in law on the cheek. “Kids, here’s your wristbands, and you can go on in...I’ll put your present with the others.” The little girl quickly handed the gift over, then followed her brother into the jumping area. Marlene had decided she wanted her birthday party to be at a local trampoline center, and that had been an easy yes for her dads. They’d come up with a list of ten or so kids and planned it for the Saturday afternoon prior to her birthday on Monday.

“Thanks for inviting the kids, Sonny. I know Isabel’s probably not at the top of Marlene’s list of favorite people.” Camila nervously shuffled the presents around on the table next to her.

“Hey.” Sonny caught her hand and met her eyes. “None of that is Isabel’s fault. Or yours. We’re happy she’s here! Rafi and I were just talking this morning about you all, and how we hadn’t seen you since the wedding a couple weeks ago. He was saying he was going to give you a call and see about getting together.”

Camila smiled. “We’d love to do that. You all should come over sometime soon. We’ve got a great pool to use, and our housekeeper makes fantastic Mexican food. We can swim and eat whatever you like--tacos, flautas, burritos? Let me know what you and Rafael and Marley prefer. She also makes a fruit salsa to die for--oh, hi, Marley. Happy birthday!” She awkwardly reached to hug Marlene, and Marley smiled at her and gave her a friendly hug.

“Hi Aunt Camila,” she greeted, as though Camila had been part of her family forever. “Daddy, where do we go if we’re thirsty? Lots of my friends are sayin’ they want a drink.”

“Okay,” Sonny told her, “give me just a minute to finish talking with your aunt, and then we’ll get drinks. We’re in party room B, so that’s where people need to go, okay?”

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll tell ‘em. We’re drinking that fruity water, right?”

“Yes, that’s right.” He and Rafael had argued over that one, with Sonny insisting it was a party and a little soda never hurt anyone. Rafael had listed the cake and ice cream, the candy bowl, and the chip bowl; Sonny interrupted with the fruit tray and the veggie tray and what kind of kid wants the rep of being the carrot and water kid? Rafael ended the argument by going to Costco when Sonny was at work and picking up packs of fruit-flavored water. Marley gave it two thumbs up and was super excited, telling her dads, “This is so cool! All my other friends only have either water or soda!” Sonny couldn’t help but swat at his husband when Rafael gave him a big grin.

“Do you need help carrying this over to the party room?” Camila asked him, motioning to the presents, just as Rafael entered the door, holding on to Marley’s little cousin, Rosie.

“Sure, that would be great! Hey, babe.” Sonny leaned over and kissed Rafael on the cheek. “We’re in room B. And hello, baby, Rosie love!”

Rosie hugged him tightly around the waist. “Uncle Sonny, l LOVE you! My mom said she’ll be here in a little while. Can l...can l go play with Marley now?”

“Yep,” he told her, putting a wristband onto her little wrist. “Knock yourself out.” Watching her take off, he muttered, “but not really…”

Rafael and Camila had already taken almost all the presents and were headed to the party room. Once he joined them, he saw they were making sure anyone thirsty was getting a cold drink, so he decided to take the opportunity to jump with his daughter. “Hey guys...I'm gonna go jump.” He motioned to the trampolines, and Rafael nodded and smiled at him while continuing his conversation with Camila. Grinning, Sonny tucked his shoes away, then climbed onto the trampolines.

He could tell right away that they’d made a good choice for a party. They’d invited kids as young as Dinah Holmes, who was jumping with her dad Isaiah several yards away, and as old as Noah, who was almost fourteen now and was jumping with Jesse and, interestingly enough, Isabel. Billie and Rosie had also found each other. Marley, Rory, and a few of Marley’s classmates were jumping together, and everyone seemed happy. Sonny couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of Fin and Jayden jumping together, and Amanda, Liv, and Kat spurring them on. 

“Hey, Uncle Sonny!” Mia, his twenty-year old niece, jumped past him, along with a young man who was clearly with her. “This is Trey, he’s a friend of mine. Where’s Marley? We want to say happy birthday!” Sonny pointed his daughter out and watched Mia hop in that direction. Feeling giddy, he began to hop himself, making his way from one group to another. 

***

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Marlene, happy birthday to you!” The room exploded with whoops and clapping as Marley blew out her candles, then sat back proudly. Grammy had brought over her finished cake just a little bit earlier, and it was beautiful. Marlene had chosen a unicorn cake in white, with the unicorn’s hair in pastel colors and a gold horn. Marley and Sonny had made a batch of macarons, at Deb’s request, and Deb had used them to circle the bottom of the cake. Lucia, Deb, Dom, and Mateo began to pass out slices of cake and scoops of ice cream, and soon everyone was eating happily. 

“It’s killing me, watching her eat this,” Camila said quietly to Rafael as she watched her daughter happily enjoying the treat, and Rafael nudged her.

“Let it go. She’s been jumping for an hour before this...are you sure you don’t want any? Sonny’s mom is an incredible baker. She’s made almost all of Marley’s cakes for her birthdays. They’re fantastic.”

“I’m sure they are. It’s gorgeous, anyway. Isabel had a unicorn cake at her last birthday and it wasn’t nearly as cute as Marley’s is, although I’m not sure about the macarons at the bottom…”

Rafael laughed. “She asked Sonny and Marley to make those together for the bottom. She knows how much they love baking together, and macarons have been some of their favorites to master this year.”

Camila raised an eyebrow. “Your eleven-year old bakes macarons?”

“On occasion,” he affirmed, “Why, have you ever made them?”

“Oh, no. On the rare occasion that we indulge, we order them from a local bakery. But now I have to try one.” Rafael watched her make her way across the room, avoiding lsabel’s table, and swiping a macaron from the cake tray. By the time she made it back to him, she’d nibbled half of it away. “You’re right, it's excellent. Kudos to Sonny and Marlene!” She sat back down next to him, crossing her legs properly, and he wondered if she ever let loose and relaxed.

As always,Camila was slim and graceful, and reminded Rafael of a ballerina in her movements--all delicate and lovely to watch. Today, despite the soaring temperatures of late July, she was wearing cropped skinny jeans, a sleeveless button-up yellow blouse, and a pair of silver thongs on her feet. Diamond studs in her ears, a silver wristwatch, and her wedding rings were her only jewelry. Her hair was styled flawlessly and her makeup was perfect. She even smelled delicious, and Rafael had to admit that if she wasn’t his sister in law, he could spend some time admiring her. She was indeed beautiful in many ways, and he found that the more he got to know her, the more he found her to be interesting as well. He found himself wondering now if she was happy to be accepted for her physical beauty, something that she seemed to value so highly, because ironically, it didn't seem so. She still seemed to struggle and have the worries that everyone else had.

“Momma, can we go jump a little while more? It’s so much fun!” Isabel was standing next to her now, hopping up and down on her heels, clearly excited to play some more.

“I suppose it’s all right,” she said. “What do you say to your Uncle Rafael?”

Isabel’s eyes shifted to him and he could see her stiffen. “Thank you, Uncle Rafael.”

Rafael smiled as warmly as he could. “Honey, we’re just so glad you could come. Thank you so much for coming to Marlene’s party!” She smiled awkwardly at him before turning to run after some of the other children.

“I've told her to stay with the other children,” Camila said suddenly. “I’ve been reading some of the books that Captain Benson suggested, as well as some things on the internet. And she’s in therapy now. I guess I never realized danger could be anywhere.” Turning to him, she added, “You know, some people believe that people like Lucas can’t help their attractions...they just have to control it...I even read somewhere that some of them believe it’s just a matter of time before it’s made legal, that it’s like homosexuality...well, you know, fifty years ago that was illegal and now…”

“Now what, Camila?” Rafael’s eyes narrowed. “Please don’t tell me that you’re about to compare the love I have for my husband to what a pedophile does to his victim--”

“No!” she interrupted him, “Of course not! I’m just saying there are people out there who say those things. I never knew any of this. But do you think they can control it? And why would it suddenly start so late?”

Rafael felt his patience waning. His daughter’s birthday party wasn’t the time or place to answer her questions. “I don’t know, Camila. But I do know this is my daughter’s eleventh birthday, and she only gets one. And I don’t want to spend it discussing this topic any further today.” He stood, and saw her face shift to a look of guilt and embarrassment. “I’m sorry...let’s get together this week and we can talk as much as you want. The girls can play. I’m going to go jump, though...I haven’t had a chance to do that with Marley yet, and I promised I would.”

“Of course,” she replied, smiling shakily. “Maybe you all could come over to swim. I’ll text you.”

“Terrific.” He leaned down to hug her, hoping he hadn’t just ruined all the work he’d put into building a positive relationship with her. “Wish me luck...hopefully I don’t fracture an ankle out here!” Rafael headed out to the trampolines, and quickly turned his attention over to his daughter and her friends.

***

“Best. Party. EVER!” Marlene sang as she, Jesse, Sonny, and Rafael made their way back into the apartment. “Thanks guys! It was SO awesome!”

“You are quite welcome, Marley Mae,” Sonny told her, bringing supplies in and dropping them on the kitchen table. “It was a good time, wasn’t it?”

“I thought it was successful,” Rafael added. “Now what do you girls want to order for dinner?”

“Italian!” both girls announced, then started to giggle. “Can we have cake, too?” Jesse asked. “That cake was delicious! I think I wanna move into your grammy’s house so l can eat cake like that all the time!”

“Hate to break it to you, Jess,” Sonny returned, “but my ma doesn’t bake cakes like that all the time.”

“Hey Daddy, what’s this?” Marley stopped at the table and picked up an envelope with her name on it. “I thought I opened everything at the party.”

Sonny glanced at Rafael, then said as neutrally as he could, “I think that’s your card from Corrine.” 

Marley held it in her hand for a long moment, until Rafael put a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to open it, princesa. Or you can open it later, if you want. It’s up to you.”

“Do you want me to open it?” asked Jesse. “I’ll tell you if she’s been nice. And I’ll write her back and tell her exactly what a loser she is, too.”

“Jess,” Sonny said, low, raising an eyebrow at her.

“What?” she shrugged.

“I’ll read it,” Marley said quietly. “But I’m gonna read it later, by myself. I don’t want to share it right now, and I don’t wanna read it on my celebration day. Okay, everybody?”

“That sounds like a good plan.” Rafael squeezed her shoulder. “Let me know when you girls are ready to order, and I’ll do it for you.”

“Hey Jess, you wanna get in pj’s before we start the movie? Get some snacks?” Marley was heading toward her room, with Jesse right behind her.

“Sounds good to me,” the older girl said, and Rafael and Sonny heard the door close.

“You wanna steam it open or should I?” Sonny asked, nodding toward the envelope.

Rafael shook his head. “She’s not a baby anymore, Sonny. We can’t protect her from what might be in there, especially after last Christmas. And I’m not even sure we should try to. She opened that door, Sonny. She’s seen Corrine and the reality of the situation, and we can’t backpedal now and pretend everything is rosy. She knows it isn’t.”

Sonny sighed. “You’re right. But I do think we have a right to know what is in the letter, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Rafael agreed. “I’m not an idiot. We need to read it directly after she does, if she doesn’t want us to read it before. And I guess we need to finish up Corrine’s package for this year?”

Sonny snorted. “The little bit we have, sure.”

“It’s just a handful of photos off my phone and I thought I’d put a short video from the wedding on there. I’ll write a short summary of the year. You know I put that in her keepsake album as well, so it’s not like it’s just for Corrine.”

“I wanna read that letter, Rafael.” Sonny crossed his arms and pursed his lips, and Rafael leaned up and kissed him.

“You will, Soleado...you will.”


	2. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marley has received her annual birthday letter from her birth mother. This year, the letter was a bit of a surprise, since Corrine had told Marlene she had no intention of ever being more of a mother to her than she currently was. That had happened back in February, when Marlene had taken off to the Bronx with the intention of living with Corrine. Marley had been devastated at the time. And Rafael had done what parents do--found his little girl, comforted her broken heart, and tried his best to heal her, loving her unconditionally throughout.
> 
> But after he reads the letter aloud to the family, everyone is surprised to find they each have strong and differing opinions about what should happen moving forward. For one of the only times in their marriage, Rafael and Sonny find themselves at odds over the "right" thing to do for their daughter. But Marlene is finally able to empathize with Isabel, and what it's like to have people in your family capable of hurting you deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> A couple of notes:
> 
> The backstory of Marlene running away is in the fic, "Gaining Clarity". The most important information to know is that Corrine is Marlene's birth mom and gave her up for adoption at birth. She chose Rafael and Sonny to be her baby's parents, and she has consistently sent letters on birthdays and Christmases, along with a homemade gingerbread cookie each Christmas. Prior to January, she had never met her daughter, but recognized her in school after being assigned a long term substitute position at Marlene's school. The fallout was complex and traumatizing for everyone. Corrine ended up saying even though she could afford to care for her now, she did not consider Marlene her daughter. She was somebody else's daughter now. She called Rafael, who immediately went to the Bronx and picked up his devastated child.
> 
> Comments and kudos are fantastic...thank you so much for sharing all your thoughts about this fic!

“You do know I’m not a baby,” Marlene reminded them as she held the letter in her hand. “l can read this all on my own.”

“Not until you’re eighteen,” Sonny told her firmly. “Those are OUR rules. Do you want one of us to read it to you, or would you like to read it aloud?”

She sighed, looking back and forth between Sonny and Rafael, then handed the letter to Rafael. Pointing at Sonny, she said, “You’re too angry, like me. Papi should read it to us.”

Rafael hesitantly took the letter from his daughter's hand and nodded. “Let’s all sit,” he suggested, and they each pulled out a chair at the kitchen table. Carefully, he opened the envelope and pulled out a card, along with a sticker of the same size. The sticker was black, with white writing, and said, “I've Got The Music in Me”. He handed the sticker to Marlene. “That’s cool, huh?” he said, and Marlene shrugged, then handed the sticker to Sonny, who examined it before setting it aside on the table.

Rafael held up the card so they could see the outside, which was simply white with “happy birthday” written in lowercase, cursive rainbow letters. Then he opened the card and held it up so Marley could see the writing inside. “Ready?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Okay...Dear Marlene,” he began, already wishing he had read it in advance, but he kept to the current plan and continued. “Happy eleventh birthday! I hope you’ve had fun celebrating and that you’re having a terrific summer. I saw this sticker and it reminded me of you. I know you’re quite a talented singer and pianist. Maybe one day l will get to see you perform! That would be very exciting.

“Well, your baby sister was born on April 7th. Her name is Nevaeh and she's very healthy and beautiful. I didn't send a picture of her because I wasn't sure you would want one. l know you were very angry with me when we last saw each other, and l understand why you felt that way. l am sorry that l said some things that hurt your feelings. You were far too young to hear that from me, and I apologize for hurting you. l never wanted to hurt you, Marlene. But l was very surprised when l saw you, also. l didn't know what to say, and unfortunately, the words that came out sounded harsh and were painful. l do hope you understand that I cannot raise you, and that you have two parents who love you very, very much. l chose them for you myself because l wanted to know you would be with the right family--a family that would love you and see the real, unique and precious you. l pray that eventually you will understand that whle l cannot raise you, l do love you and wish the very best for you. One day, when you are an adult, l would welcome you meeting your sister, and perhaps we can get to know each other better then. 

Have a wonderful birthday, Marlene! I will send you a gingerbread cookie at Christmas!

Love,

Corrine”

Rafael looked up, wondering what his daughter was thinking. Her expression was one of focused concentration; her brow was furrowed and she was tapping a finger on her chin. After a minute of silence, her eyes suddenly met his. “Yeah, I still hate her,” she said with all the casualness of expressing her opinion on a flavor of ice cream. “You can throw that out.” She started to get up from the table, but Sonny stopped her.

“Hey there, come back here,” he said, patting the table in front of where she’d been sitting. “I think we need to talk.” He and Rafael exchanged glances, and Marley came back to the table, fidgety and restless.

“I don’t want to talk about it. There’s nothing to say,” she told them, swinging her small body between two chairs. “Me and her agree not to see each other. And now she’s got a brand new baby. Good for her.” Seeing Sonny cross his arms, she seemed to realize he wasn’t going to let this go easily, and slowly sank back into the chair. “She’s still a btch. And you can punish me for saying it, l don’t care. I can say it in my head all l want, too!”

“That’s true, you can.” This time Rafael acknowledged her, and he was fighting back a smirk. He knew she was probably internally repeating the word  _ bitch  _ even now, as they spoke. He certainly would be. “And you’re entitled to your feelings. I just want to congratulate you on becoming a big sister. One day you’ll get to decide if you want to have a relationship with Nevaeh, and that’s got to be very exciting. How do you feel about that?”

Marlene was now tapping her foot on the floor. “Maybe I’ll send that baby one of those I’m so sorry cards, like when people die...what’s it called?”

Rafael’s brow furrowed in confusion. “A sympathy card?”

“Yeah, sympathy!” she echoed excitedly. “And it’ll say I’m so sorry you’re just a little baby that got stuck with a bitch for a momma! If you need therapy when you grow up I can help you find a nice person to fix you from all your problems.”

Sonny snorted loudly while Rafael’s hands formed a praying shape in front of his nose. “I think it would be more appropriate to send well-wishes to the baby. Maybe just thinking a good thought for her would be nice,” Rafael told her.

Marlene shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms, staring at the table.

Sonny spoke up. “Do you see now why taking off to see your birth mother was a bad idea? Why you should have just trusted us?” Marley’s eyes flashed up at him, shocked, and even Rafael looked surprised.

“Yeah, but l thought you didn't even want me around, Daddy! Remember? You were mad all the time! I thought l was in your way…plus your head was hurt.” The memory seemed to quickly overwhelm her, and she began to sniffle and wipe her eyes.

“I understand it was a tough time for all of us, honey, but this is why you have to listen to us...you have to trust that we have your best interests at heart and do what we tell you!” he continued as she got up and ran down the hall to her room. He huffed and shook his head. “Stubborn,” he muttered, then realized his husband was staring at him. “What? What’s wrong?” Motioning toward the hallway, he added, “I didn’t get a chance to really say anything back in February, and now seemed as good a time as any.”

“Seriously?” Rafael shook his head. “Now seemed to be the right time to you?”

“Well, we were discussing this card, so yeah!” Sonny returned, a bit hostile. “She obviously still doesn’t get how dangerous her behavior was, since she’s willing to defend it again.”

“Oh, I think she gets it,” Rafael replied, reaching for the card on the table. “Maybe now, instead of reminding her of what an awful, impulsive choice she made, we could focus on trying to help her repair the relationship with her mother. Call me crazy.”

“I will,” Sonny snapped. “As far as l’m concerned, that woman should have nothing to do with our daughter from this point forward, period. She doesn’t deserve to know Marlene, ever. And thinking otherwise IS crazy.”

“Then we’ve got a problem.” Rafael stood, picking up the card and its envelope. “Our job as her parents is to guide her in the right direction here, Sonny--”

“And weren’t you the one just arguing that she couldn’t be protected from whatever this card said, because she already interjected herself so far into it? I want her to remember exactly who took care of her when she made that mistake and fell to pieces! That’s how we keep her safe!”

Rafael bit his tongue, hard, to keep from reminding his husband that  _ he  _ was the one who cleaned up that mess, not Sonny. “I don’t think fear and embarrassment is the way to go about this, Sonny. She learned her lesson in February, when she went to Corrine’s. Bringing it back up now is only going to embarrass her and make her feel bad about herself. Just because life intervened and you weren’t able to follow through in February doesn’t mean you get to make cheap shots at her now in July. Besides, it was addressed at the time. She won’t be forgetting what happened anytime soon.”

Sonny glared at Rafael and crossed his arms. “You really think I’m making cheap shots? By expressing the fact that I also haven’t forgotten, and that I still expect her to do better?”

“I think,” Rafael said slowly, “we all can do better here, starting with supporting an environment of love and forgiveness of others, as well as of oneself.”

Sonny snorted again and shook his head. “Father of the year,” Sonny muttered under his breath. “There should be a calendar.” He grabbed his keys off the counter. 

“Excuse me?” Rafael replied, offended. “Where are you going?”

“Somewhere to process,” Sonny told him. “Somewhere with people who get I love my kid and I’m trying to protect her.” He stomped out and let the door slam behind him, and Rafael exhaled heavily, then took the card back to his room, to put it away.

As he slid the card safely into his top drawer, he heard a knock on his door. “Papi?” Marlene stood there, biting her bottom lip. “Is Daddy mad at me? Is that why he left?”

“No, honey,” he told her, taking a seat on the bed and patting the spot next to him. “C’mere. He just left because he needed some time to calm down. I think he feels...well, I’m not sure how he feels. But he’s worried about you leaving again to try to live with Corrine, and he just needs some time to calm down and think about things. Sometimes we all need that.”

“I wouldn’t do that again,” she told him, shaking her head. “I learned my stupid lesson. It was the dumbest thing I ever did in my entire eleven years of life. Even dumber than that time me an’ Jesse cut our hair off. That may not be tons of years, but it’s still a lot.”

He reached over and put an arm around her shoulder. “I don’t think it was dumb. I agree that it was dangerous, and that you were probably something we call naive, which is where you haven’t learned enough in the world yet to know that your idea probably won’t work. But not dumb. Wanting to be loved by somebody is never dumb, princesa.”

“It is when the person gave you away when you were a baby.” She sniffled and rubbed her nose with her arm.

“Nope, I don’t think so,” Rafael corrected her. “Anyway, I know for a fact that anyone lucky enough to be loved by you is a lucky person for sure. And I hope you know that, too. But I also think you learned that it’s dangerous to leave without telling us where you’re going. That’s really important. Some teenagers don’t seem to understand that lesson.”

“Something I need to know when I’m a grownup, huh?” she smiled at him. “Maybe if I tell Daddy that I really learned it, he’ll feel better. I hate it when I think you guys don’t trust me...or even one of you guys. I try really hard, Papi. I know sometimes I mess up, but I try to be a good girl really hard...the girl you want me to be.”

Rafael’s heart ached, and he hugged her tightly. “Such a good girl, mija. Una chica tan buena (such a very good girl).”

****

Marley was drawing a portrait of Juris Prudence as Pru slept on the bed. She’d captured the dog’s ears and her gray and white facial coloring. She was working on the nose and eyes when Pru gave a sudden snore, and Marley jumped and laughed. “Pru, you’re crazy!” she whispered, trying not to wake her buddy up, then scratched the dog’s forehead. She heard a knock on her door, and laid her papers down.

“Come in,” she called, trying to keep her tone quiet, and Sonny entered the room.

“Hiya, dolly,” he greeted, closing the door again behind him. “How are you doin’?”

She put down her pencils and shrugged her shoulders. “Okay,” she told him. “Are you still mad at me?”

Sonny made a sound in his throat as he sat down on the bed. “I wasn’t mad at you, dolly. Papi and I just see this a little differently, is all. I guess the card reminded me that we’ve never really had a talk about this, you and me. I just feel like it’s really important that you understand just how dangerous it was for you to take off to the Bronx like you did, and going to see a near-stranger...Marlene, I know Papi handled it, and he thinks you learned your lesson and won’t do it again but--”

“Daddy,” she interrupted earnestly, “I won’t do it again. It was the worst mistake I ever made in my whole life. You gotta trust me, I love you guys so much. And I know now. I know she doesn’t want me for real.”

Sonny watched as his daughter’s eyes filled with tears, and his stomach tightened. “Oh Marley,” he sighed, opening his arms and squeezing her tightly once she clambered in. “I just don’t want you to be hurt, and I don’t trust this woman right now. Just because people are part of your family doesn’t mean they’re worth your time.”

“Like Lucas,” she murmured into his chest. “But Daddy, sometimes I don’t feel like bein’ so nice. Like Lucas? I keep thinkin’ about what he did to Isabel and what she did to me an’ Papi because of him. It’s really his fault she said those things, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Sonny replied. “It really is his fault.”

“And Isabel’s just a kid. I don’t know how old she was when he started doin’ that, but she coulda been really little. Isabel is a good girl, Daddy. I mean, I’ve been really mad that she said what she did, but other than that, she was a good person and I liked her. I was excited she was gonna be my little cousin. Do you think she’s mad at me ‘cause I stopped being her friend?” Marley looked up at him, eyes wide.

“I don’t know, dolly, but I do know that if you talk with her, she’ll probably tell you the truth. And even if she was mad, the two of you might be able to talk about how to be friends again. You could invite her over to spend the night again, or she could come with us to do something fun.” He grinned at her. “We’ll work it out, for sure, I bet.”

She smiled back shyly, then hugged him again. “I love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too.”


	3. We Are Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An afternoon swim date at the Delgado's is not only entertaining, but enlightening as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey and thanks for reading! 
> 
> Just a heads up--having trouble with my letter l key, so please be patient if you notice wonky spelling!
> 
> lf you're interested in seeing where l hc Camila and Enzo live, check it out: brooklynpointnyc.com
> 
> Comments and kudos are always very welcome! Hope you enjoy!

“Wow,” Marlene breathed as they made their way through the building. “We married  _ rich. _ ”

Rafael snorted, then squeezed his daughter’s shoulder. “Be polite, princesa. It’s a very nice building, isn’t it?” 

And it was. Camila and Enzo lived in a new luxury building in Brooklyn with an infinity rooftop pool, and Camila had invited them for the day to swim. Sonny had to work, but Rafael had been happy to take Marlene out of the heat of Manhattan to enjoy a day at the pool. They’d stopped at the apartment first, and the housekeeper, a cute young thing who’d managed to flirt with him in the sixty seconds they’d been there, had directed them to the roof. Apparently Camila and the kids had already gone up.

They stepped into the sunshine and onto a gorgeous, large patio surrounding an enormous pool, the likes he’d never seen before. They were sixty-eight floors up, with an incredible view of the Manhattan skyline. It was a sunny, clear day, and the view took his breath away. “We need to move to Brooklyn,” Marley said under her breath, and for a second he wondered how much he could make in private practice.

“Rafael! Marlene!” Camila called from her lounge chair, waving, and they headed over to her. “I’m so glad you made it,” she said, standing to hug each of them. “Marley, honey, we made you a water bottle at the house so you wouldn’t have to go back inside to get a drink. It’s the purple one--Isabel said that’s your favorite color.” She pointed to a bag filled with drinks and snacks.

“Thanks, Aunt Camila! This is gonna be so fun!” She began to giggle and was wriggling like a vertical caterpillar, grinning at her dad. “Can I go now?”

“Sunblock first,” Rafael reminded her, and her face immediately drew a pout. He put their towels and bag on the chair next to Camila’s, then sat down and motioned for her. “Let me get your back, and you can do the rest.”

“I don’t understand why I gotta wear sunblock,” she grumbled as he rubbed the lotion on her back. “Don’tcha know I’m part black, Papi? I’m not so white like Daddy that I’m gonna turn red, or like you when you fell asleep in North Carolina.” She giggled at the memory.

“Do you know,” he told her, “you’re just as likely to burn, even with darker skin? Anyone can get sunburn, and you’ll thank me for protecting you from skin cancer later. There.” She turned around and he handed her the bottle. “Go ahead, but I’m watching.”

She lotioned her arms and legs, then tried for her face, and he helped her. He was getting her nose when he felt water dripping on his foot. “Hi Marley,” Isabel said shyly, shaking her wet head as Rafael helped Marlene finish her face.

“Hi Isabel. I get to go swimming with you guys today! Your building is so nice. You’ve got stores and stuff...like a whole mall in your building! Yours is way nicer than ours--”

“Okay,” Rafael interrupted her. “Be good and have fun.”

“Kay, Papi! See ya!” She turned around and headed toward the pool, but Isabel was still watching him. 

“Hi, Uncle Rafael,” she said softly, waving, and he wondered what was going on in her mind.

“Hi Isabel. It’s nice to see you today,” he told her, smiling again, and he wondered if she would ever smile at him again. She turned around and followed Marley to the pool, and both girls went down the steps, then jumped in.

“She’s polite to you, isn’t she?” Camila asked worriedly, and he turned back to face her.

“Of course she is,” he told her, waving off her concern. “I hope she’s not blaming herself for any of this. I worry about her sometimes, Camila.”

“I worry about her all the time,” she replied, a frown on her face, “even if nobody thinks I do.”

He pulled his shirt off and folded it up, then grabbed the sunblock. “I think it’s probably because of the things you tend to say you worry about, Camila. Her weight and her looks are all you’ve really expressed to me…”

“You know there’s more than that,” she said pointedly. When he didn’t answer her, she asked, “Okay then. Tell me what you worry about with Marlene.”

“Well, first and foremost, that her sharp little tongue is gonna get lobbed off one day by an auntie who doesn’t take her observations as well as you did,” he said sarcastically, and Camila laughed.

The sound of her laugh broke him into a smile. “I don’t think I”ve heard you laugh before.”

“Yeah, well...there’s not been a lot to laugh about lately. And don’t think I didn’t want to tell your little angel exactly what I thought of her observation...but she had caught me in a moment, and I shouldn’t have said what I did about your mother. I’m sorry, by the way.”

Now he laughed. “Thanks, but trust me, I’ve said far worse. Lucia Barba is...well, she’s a force.  _ Una tormenta. _ ” (a storm) At his chuckle, she smiled.

“Papa adores her. He always has. You probably don’t know this, but he’s held a torch for her for years...pretty much since he met her. Marrying her is like his own fairy tale. Cinderfella being rescued from his bed under the teacher’s desk.”

Rafael chuckled again. “Yeah, she loves your dad. I remember when I first found out they were dating. It wasn’t because she told me--my daughter ratted them out. She’d been having him over every weekend, I guess, and Marley stayed over every Saturday at that time. And one day my little one just starts talking about Abby’s friend Mateo,”

Camila chuckled. “Did she at least say nice things about him?”

“Oh, she loved him,” Rafael told her. “She told me he was Abby’s best friend and he was funny and nice, and helped Abby out at school. That’s when I figured out it was your dad.”

“Yeah, I’d never seen him smile so much. Once he started dating Lucia, he was nonstop smiles.” Camila took a drink from her iced coffee, then lay back in the chair. “My mother could rip a smile off his face with a glance. Off anyone else’s face too.”

Rafael hummed, then adjusted his sunglasses and lay back. “Yeah, my father was pretty legendary for that kind of stuff too...at least with the family.”

There was a brief pause, then she said, “I heard he was abusive...coffee?” At his nod, she offered him a bottle of frappuccino, “I don’t know how your mother put up with that...no offense. I guess watching my mom bully my dad made me realize I’d never be able to handle that kind of relationship. If Enzo ever put his hands on me, or even insulted me like she used to, we’d be done.”

He thought about the words she often said to her daughter, and the fact that he’d seen Enzo n person exactly twice, and wondered if he lacked that amount of self-awareness as well. “So...is Enzo in DC again? You guys get to do anything fun when you see him next?”

“Yes and yes, actually,” she said excitedly. “He’ll finish his summer session in a few more days, and then he’s off until mid-September. We were talking about going to Europe for the month, but Lucas’ trial is coming up, so that ended those plans. We’re thinking of taking a shorter vacation, probably to Florida. Esme, our housekeeper, travels with us, so we’ll just rent a house when we go. Enzo and I will probably take a cruise out of Miami while Esme stays there with the kids...maybe takes them to Disney. For some reason, they both want to go to Disney every time we’re down there! It’s like they can’t get enough.”

“We took Marley to Disney when she was five, and she loved it,” he remembered, and smiled at the memory of her in her little swimsuit and arm floaties, jumping to him at the pool. 

“She’s only been once?” Camila asked, surprised, and Rafael had to take a breath before he answered her, for fear he might say something ruder than he meant.

“Yes, just once so far,” he said. “Camila, do you have any friends who make less than a million a year?”

Now she laughed loudly. “Of course I do! Enzo doesn’t even make that much--not even close, actually. Sorry...do I really sound that spoiled? I guess it’s never really been an issue for us, and I just live my own little life here. Enzo’s family has money, and I was in software development when we got married, so yeah, we’ve been a little spoiled. We had a place in Manhattan until recently, when we decided to downsize a little. This place seemed like it had so many wonderful options. We’d been looking at a place on Long Island, but this was so much closer to Papa. I really didn’t want to be that far away.”

“This building is incredible. Marlene’s ready to move in,” he joked, and she laughed.

“Well, she’s welcome to spend the night any time. In fact, you guys could join us in Florida when we go, if you want. I know you have family in MIami, right? And Orlando...you could always join us there and hit up Disney again, if that’s more your thing.” She took another sip of her coffee, then pulled out her lotion. 

“Florida in August. I’ll have to mull that over,” Rafael said, then watched the kids for a few minutes as they played in the pool. “Did you still want to talk about Lucas?” he finally asked, watching as she began to apply her sunblock again.

“Yes, I do,” she said. “I wanted you to explain to me how this could happen at his age. And I think I know what you’re probably going to say, because I’ve been reading...it’s probably been there all this time, and he just never acted on it before. Is that right?” She finished her arms and legs, and moved on to her face.

“Well, that’s a possibility.” He watched as she expertly massaged the lotion in. “Or he could, uh, have victims we don’t know about.” She froze for a second, clearly shaken, then went back to finishing her face.

“I read he could have also had a stroke, or some kind of neurological event.” She screwed the lid back on and tossed the lotion back into her bag, without getting her back. “But I guess you don’t think that’s a possibility.”

“I really don’t know,” he replied. “I don’t know Lucas beyond the few minutes I met him on New Year’s Eve. I do know he didn’t do anything inappropriate with Marlene--”

“You asked her?” Camila pulled her glasses up to look at him, and her expression was a mix of shock and embarrassment.

“Camila, of course I did. I had to. I’m her father and I exposed her to a child abuser.” She shoved her glasses back on her face and threw her body against the back of the lounge chair, and he felt a little taken aback. “Come on, Camila. You have to know that NOT asking wasn’t an option.”

She huffed, but didn’t respond. He sipped his drink, then lay back in his chair. He wondered what it would be like if the situation was reversed, if she were telling him that one of his uncles had abused his daughter. Or somebody he was very close to, who rescued him as a child--what if she was telling him Abuelita had been abusive? Or Mami? “Listen, Camila. None of this is an attack on you. Whatever caused Lucas to do what he did to lsabel, that’s on him. It’s not a reflection on you, or on Isabel or your family or anyone else. Honestly? I think he’s been doing this for years and just never got caught. I know you love him and it’s hard to come to terms with what he did and who he really is.” He watched her, lying motionless and beautiful, and he felt intensely sorry for her pain. “Can I help you in any way? How can I support you in this?”

She gave a slight shake of her head, but otherwise didn’t move. He watched as a couple of younger men walked past, both taking a long look at Camila, and he wondered how many people in her life never saw beneath the alluring surface, and how much she used that surface as protection. Granted, she was in a black one-piece that could be considered relatively modest. Her hair was in a ponytail. But her lips were painted a deep red, and the color on her fingers and toes matched it. She always seemed completely put together, even when she was falling apart, just underneath. And if she didn't want you to, you’d never know.

He watched a lone tear fall from one eye, and he finally said what he’d wanted to say for a long time. “You must be furious at Lucas for betraying your trust like this.”

They sat in silence for several more minutes, the sun beating down on them, wth the kids shouting and laughing in the water. “Before New Year’s,” she said suddenly, breaking the silence between them, “I considered him to be one of the people I loved most in this world. I gave him credit for helping me survive a very difficult time. Now?” She shook her head. “I hurt my daughter, Rafael. Because of him, she can’t sleep through the night. She thinks she’s dirty and says she hates herself. She’s wet the bed and she hits herself when she makes mistakes now. l don’t know if we'll ever get all of lsabel back. Certainly not as the sweet, innocent little girl she was. And I know it's my fault. I exposed her to him. l believed his lies. I was two steps behind supporting my child because of him.” She sat up and faced him, sunglasses still on, but her voice dropped a few decibels. “I think about killing him all the time. When l look at my daughter and see the tears in her eyes, l want nothing more than to take Enzo’s gun and put a bullet through each of the bastard’s balls. And on that note…” She slipped her feet into her sandals. “Could you keep an eye on them for a few minutes? I need to go insde for a minute…”

“Of course,” he murmured. “Go.” He watched as she quickly headed inside, head up and a sway in her hips, and wondered if she was serious about that gun.

^^^

“Here, lsabel! Throw it to me! Don’t let Papi get it!” Marlene shreked to her cousin. Isabel grinned and tried to throw the ball around Rafael, and he purposely threw his body short of the ball’s trajectory. “Ah-ha, Papi! You missed it!” Marlene teased him, and he could see lsabel gigglng out of the corner of his eye. 

“Hey Marlene! Give it here!” Rory called, and Marley tossed the ball to him. He caught it, then nailed it at his sister. It got her on the cheek, right below the eye, and she grabbed her cheek and wailed.

“Oh no,” Rafael said as lsabel climbed out of the pool, still holding her face and crying. He followed her, unsure if she would even let her near him. She sat down on her mother’s chair, and he went over and sat on his seat, next to her. “Hey sweetie,” he said gently, “can l see your eye?”

She watched him carefully, and slowly nodded, then dropped her hands. “Ouch,” he said, seeing the red mark on her cheek. “Are you okay? Let’s get something cold on that, okay?” She nodded, and he dug through Camila’s bag and found an ice pack. “How about this? Can you hold it on your cheek?”

“Okay,” she sniffled, taking the pack from him and pressing it to her cheek. “Am l gonna get a bruise?”

“You might.” He smiled. “That just means that you’re tough. You play hard, huh?” Slowly, a smile took over her face and she nodded. “‘I'll tell you something important to know,” he whispered, raising an eyebrow. “Marley plays hard too! Girls can be tough!”

She started to giggle and nodded. “Yeah, l’m tough like Marley!”

Just then, Camila rejoined them, seemingly much calmer. She leaned down toward lsabel’s face. “What happened, honey?” she asked, lifting her glasses to get a better look. “Are you okay?”

lsabel nodded, grinning. “Yeah. l just got hit by the ball, but l’m tough, Momma! Don’t worry!”

Camila looked from lsabel to Rafael and back. “You ARE tough, querida.” She pulled the girl into her for a tight hug and glanced at Rafael. “Thank you,” she mouthed to him, and he gave her a thumbs-up. “Ready to get back in the pool? We have another hour before we’re going to go inside. Esme’s going to bring you kids a snack in a few minutes, if you’d rather wait out here.”

“‘I'll swim,” lsabel told her happily, handing the ice pack to Rafael, then heading back to the pool steps.

“Thank you for helping her,” Camila said, taking a seat on her lounge chair. “She really likes you but is worried you hate her...her words, not mine.”

“‘I'm assuming you’ve told her that l actually like her very much?” Rafael asked.

“Of course l have. i think it just takes time. Like everything, huh?” she asked him, and he hummed. “You want to stay for dinner? Esme’s making chicken and corn on the grill...it's good.”

“Sure. We’re flexible these days.”

“I've started therapy too. Took your advice for happy families.” She drummed her fingers on the arm of the chair. “Guess we’ll see how it goes.”

“Takes time,” he told her, smiling as he echoed her own words from a minute before. “Like everything.”

She snorted. “You like this big brother business, don’t you?”

He grinned at her. “‘Beats being the little brother, l’m pretty sure.”


	4. Truthtelling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She quietly walked down the hall and saw Rafael lying on the couch. He was watching some grownup show where a man was telling jokes about the president and people were laughing. Her parents hated the president, and she did too. Two of her momma’s cousins went missing last year because of the president, and they were little kids. Nobody still knew where they were. Rafael laughed aloud again, and she saw there was a man dressed up like the president, pretending to be him. He was saying things and the audience kept laughing. His hair was so funny that Isabel giggled, and just then Pru trotted past her, over to the couch, and licked Rafael on the face.
> 
> “Pru...get down!” he exclaimed, sitting up. Catching a glimpse of Isabel, he ran his fingers through his hair, unsure what to do. “Hey Isabel,” he said as kindly as he could. “Having trouble sleeping?”
> 
> She nodded, but stayed in the hallway, unsure what to do herself.
> 
> *****  
> Rafael and Isabel bond over important questions and a mutual dislike of a public figure.

“Okay, girls, don’t stay up too late tonight,” Rafael directed them as Marley and Isabel made their way to Marley’s room. “No later than midnight!” he called down the hall after them.

“Y’all have fun?” Sonny asked, appearing in the kitchen and getting himself a drink. “Ooh, look at you...somebody got a little sun.” He ran a thumb over each of Rafael’s cheeks, then leaned down and kissed him.

“That building is amazing, Sonny. There’s a screening room, a game room, a playroom for kids--”

“You want some tea?” Sonny interrupted him, and Rafael nodded.

“Your daughter is ready to move to Brooklyn. And I have to say for one hot minute, I reconsidered my career choices.” He took a glass from Sonny and drank, and Sonny did the same.

“I’m sorry I missed it,” Sonny told him. “You still pissed at me? About Corrine?”

“I think pissed is the wrong word,” he said, thinking about it. “I just think we need to keep talking about it. We clearly see things differently here.”

“We do,” Sonny agreed, wrapping his arms around Rafael. “But I love you just the same, and we’ll work through it.” He pressed a kiss to Rafael’s temple. “Wanna go to bed early tonight?”

“Isabel’s here.”

“Ah. Well then, you just need to be quiet while I--”

“Hey Papi?” Marlene appeared suddenly, and Sonny stopped talking. “Oh, hi Daddy! We went swimmin’ at Aunt Camila’s and had so much fun! Isabel came back to spend the night with us. We were wanting some ice cream.”

“That sounds fun,” Sonny remarked as Rafael pulled a couple of ice cream treats out of the freezer. “And it looks like you got a bit of a tan, Marley Mae!”

“That’s impossible,” Rafael teased. “Marlene informed me earlier she can’t get any sun because she’s part black.” He handed her two cones.

“Papi! Don’t make fun of me! I’m only eleven...I don’t know everything perfectly yet!” She took the ice cream and ran back to her room.

Sonny snorted. “Our kid’s a goofball sometimes.”

“Yeah,” Rafael agreed. “She takes after her daddy.”

Sonny laughed. “Probably. Hey, guess what?” he asked, and his tone turned more serious. “They’ve had two other people come forward, saying that Lucas sexually abused them, and they’re willing to testify. Both female; one is college-aged now and the other is a young mother in her thirties.” Glancing past Rafael down the hall to make sure it was empty, Sonny continued. “Liv said they’ve had several others come forward with stories, but nobody wanted to face him in court. Most of the cases, the statute of limitations has expired. But they were able to at least get a pattern. Seems he goes after hispanic or white girls with brown hair in elementary school--most of the vics were six or seven when it started. He abuses them for years, Rafi. It continues until they get close to eleven or twelve and puberty starts, or they get their first period. They all said it ended pretty suddenly. He just stopped being involved with them, not a lot of reasons given. But Liv said it seems he grooms them for up to a year in advance. I guess he has a cycle; when his current vic is almost hitting puberty, he starts to look for his next one.”

Rafael sighed. “I’m guessing there’s a lot of shame in their stories.”

“I’m meeting with them tomorrow, separately--the ones willing to testify, I mean. I already know it’s going to be a difficult day.” He grabbed a clementine from the fruit bowl. “Since you’re not interested in going to bed early, I’m gonna go on back and read over a few things...more statements and whatnot. I want to be ready for however Rubirosa might use me.”

Rafael couldn’t help himself. “You can only hope she’ll use you,” he teased. “I’ve been used by Connie and it was a fantastic growth experience.”

Sonny snorted. “Put it on your resume, Barba. I’m second chair; you only got to poke around in New Jersey.” Rafael watched him head back to the bedroom, flexing his beautiful ass cheeks, and shook his head. Sonny was right--he wished he’d gotten to sit second chair with Connie Rubirosa when he was as new as Sonny was. He sighed and collapsed on the couch, grabbing the remote.

***

“Are you sure you’re not mad at me no more?” Isabel asked Marlene as they settled into bed after brushing their teeth.

“I’m absolutely, positively, one hundred percent sure!” Marley told her, then wrapped her arms around the girl and gave her a tight hug. “You’re my cousin and I know it wasn’t your fault. You had to say what you thought was true, and you only thought that because Lucas got you all mixed up. That’s not your fault, Isabel. I wish I could beat him up for you! Maybe your mom or your dad will,” Marlene said hopefully, and Isabel smiled just a little bit.

“My momma says she’s so sorry she wasn’t sure at first,” Isabel said. “She tells me all the time now that she loves me.” Her smile disappeared, and she looked a bit confused. “I think my mom’s sad now though and she thinks it’s her fault.”

“But that’s not true,” Marley told her. “Your mom didn’t make him do that stuff. It’s his fault. Lucas needs to keep his penis in his pants and away from kids!” Her words caused both girls to explode into giggles, followed by yawns. “I’m tired from swimming today! Do you mind turning the light out so we can sleep?” Marley asked, and Isabel reached over and turned out the light, and the room was dark, other than the small nightlight across the room.

It was warm and quiet, with only the sounds of Pru’s breathing and the TV in the front room. Isabel liked Marley’s room, even at night. The walls were light, light gray with lavender accents everywhere. Marley had told her that her dads had chosen those colors before she was born, and it had just always stayed that way. Isabel’s own room was pink and had always been pink. Her mom had never asked her if she liked it; when they moved last year, some friend of her mom’s named Devon decorated it for her--in pink.

Her mom had been so nice to her lately. She told her every day now how much she loved her, and that she was a wonderful little girl. Her mom even told her once she was pretty. She’d  _ never  _ said that before. Okay, well maybe about her face--she always used to say, “You have such a pretty face, mija, if only you’d lose some weight!”. But now her mom seemed to blame herself for what Lucas did. And that wasn’t right. It wasn’t her mom’s fault, like Marlene said. Lucas needed to keep his polla--that’s what he always called it--in his pants, like her cousin said. But Isabel knew that what Lucas had told her was probably at least part right.  _ “I just can’t help it, my sweet Issi. Ever since you were little you’ve kissed and hugged and touched me, and it’s only normal that I kiss and hug and touch you back. My touches feel good, don’t they, sobrina? Special touches for a special girl.” _ It was her fault, probably. She did kiss and hug him, and she must have touched him sometime, too. She’d touched him so many times since.

“Marley,” she whispered, “do you think it might be my fault?”

She waited, but the only new sound was a low snore from Pru, then a soft hum from Marley, as she smacked her lips and rolled over, fast asleep.

Her mom said Uncle Rafi used to work with Captain Benson,, the lady at the police station that she’d talked to a lot. And he knew a lot about people like Lucas. He used to be a lawyer who sent them to jail, like Uncle Sonny and the lady who was working to put Lucas in jail. Ms. Rubirosa--she was so pretty. Almost as pretty as Momma.

Isabel climbed out of the bed quietly, then hesitated at the door. Uncle Rafi might still be mad at her for what she’d said about him. Momma said he wasn’t, and he didn’t seem mad anymore. And he could probably tell her the truth--if Lucas was right and she’d done something wrong. If she really could ask him. She glanced back at the bed, half hoping Marley would be awake, but when she wasn’t, Isabel exhaled and opened the door.

She quietly walked down the hall and saw Rafael lying on the couch. He was watching some grownup show where a man was telling jokes about the president and people were laughing. Her parents hated the president, and she did too. Two of her momma’s cousins went missing last year because of the president, and they were little kids. Nobody still knew where they were. Rafael laughed aloud again, and she saw there was a man dressed up like the president, pretending to be him. He was saying things and the audience kept laughing. His hair was so funny that Isabel giggled, and just then Pru trotted past her, over to the couch, and licked Rafael on the face.

“Pru...get down!” he exclaimed, sitting up. Catching a glimpse of Isabel, he ran his fingers through his hair, unsure what to do. “Hey Isabel,” he said as kindly as he could. “Having trouble sleeping?”

She nodded, but stayed in the hallway, unsure what to do herself.

“You want to come out here?” he asked. “You can watch TV if you want. Are you hungry or thirsty? Do you need your mom?” He felt ridiculous, tossing a million options out when the child hadn’t even complained.

She slowly came into the room and sat down in the recliner. He smiled at her while catching one of Alec Baldwin’s lines, and an unavoidable laugh escaped him. She giggled too. “He’s funny, isn’t he?” Rafael said, and felt himself relax when she nodded.

“My papa laughs too when he watches. Me and Rory, we laugh at his hair,” she confided, and he noticed that for once, her smile carried into her eyes. He grinned back.

“Well, he’s definitely a ridiculous man,” Rafael said, feeling pleasantly comfortable around her for once.

“And mean. Papa calls him el diablo,” she confided. “Two of Momma’s little cousins from Mexico, they went missing last year in the camps.”

Rafael felt as though he’d been hit in the gut. He and Bayard had worked on three immigration cases in the last year, none with good outcomes. He had no idea that Camila, or Mateo for that matter, had been impacted. Then again, he didn’t ask questions about status. That was none of his business. 

When he looked back at Isabel, she’d gone quiet, and he wondered if his expression had frightened her somehow. “I’m so sorry to hear that, Isabel,” he said, trying to reconnect. 

“Do you like that president? El Diablo?” she asked curiously, and something told him this was about anything but the president.

“No, I’m not a fan,” he replied honestly, and she nodded as a smile crept across her face.

They sat in companionable silence until the next commercial break, when suddenly she spoke. “Tio Rafi...or do you want me to call you Uncle, in English? I used to say tio, but not since Lucas…”

He nodded. “It’s up to you, Isabel. Whatever you’d like to call me is fine.”

“Well, I just have a question.” She was rubbing at the inside of her arm, near the wrist, back and forth. He didn’t see a mark, but he couldn’t help but wonder. “Momma says you used to put people like Lucas in jail.”

“I did,” he confirmed. “I used to. That was my job.”

“Why did you stop?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

He decided to give the simple answer. “Some things happened and I decided I wanted to be at home with Marley more. I didn’t want to work all the time. I wanted to see her grow up.”

She burst into a smile. “Because you’re such a good dad. That’s what Marley says, and she’s smart.”

He smiled back.

There was another moment of silence between them, and then she said, “Isn’t what Lucas did...isn’t it a little bit my fault too? And if it is,” her voice lowered to a whisper now, “will Ms. Rubirosa and Uncle Sonny try to put me in jail too? Not grown up jail,” she clarified, “but kid jail?”

One day, if he wanted his heart to survive this lifetime, he was going to have to resolve never to talk with children again, he told himself.

Leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looking her directly in the eye, he said as evenly as he could, “Isabel, I want you to listen to me very carefully. None of this, and I mean NONE of it, is your fault. I don’t care what anybody told you--your tio, your tia, your abuelo or abuela or mami or papi or hermano--it is NEVER a child’s fault when they are abused. There is this thing called consent. It’s your ability to say yes, you want to participate in sex. The law says that you must have consent from someone before you can have sex with them. They have to say yes, they want to. The law also says that children are too young to give consent. Your consent doesn’t count until you’re an adult. You can’t give consent. That means it is never, ever okay to sexually touch a child, and it is never, ever a child’s fault. Entiendes?”

“Si. But he said I touched him first--”

Rafael shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Even if you jumped up and down yelling ‘I give consent!’, it wouldn’t matter. And Lucas knows that. If he told you that, he’s trying to trick you into believing it’s partially your fault. Don’t let him trick you, honey. It’s not.”

“So Miss Rubirosa and Sonny, they’re not gonna send me to jail?” Her face was hopeful, and he could tell she’d truly been worried about this.

“No they’re not. Do you want to ask Sonny yourself? He’s here...he’s in the back.” At her nod, Rafael headed toward the master bedroom, and returned a minute later with his husband.

“Hey there Sisi,” Sonny greeted her with the nickname she’d told them she liked. “Uncle Rafi says you have a question for me.”

But she was quiet again, glancing nervously from one man to the other. Finally Rafael said, “Isabel had a question. She knows that Lucas is going to trial for sexually abusing her, but she was wondering if you and Connie were going to try to send her to jail also. I told her that what happened was NOT her fault, that she did not give consent and she cannot give consent to Lucas, and that is why Lucas is going to jail, and that she has not done anything wrong, no matter what anyone says. Can you add anything?”

“Just that Uncle Rafi is absolutely right,” Sonny told her, then knelt next to the recliner Isabel was still seated in. “You are not in any trouble, because you didn’t do anything wrong. Did somebody tell you that you did?”

Slowly, she nodded. “Uncle Lucas said he couldn’t help it...and I mighta touched him first...that’s what he said but I don’t remember.”

“Well, Uncle Lucas is incorrect. It is never a child’s fault. And I promise, nobody is sending you to jail, okay?” Sonny forced a smile, and Isabel nodded. Standing, he announced, “I’m going to head to bed...it’s late and I’m tired. How about everybody else?”

Isabel nodded. “Yeah, I’m ready to go to bed now.” She stood up and slapped her leg. “C’mon Pru baby, let’s go see your Marley, okay?” Pru stretched and waggled her way to Isabel, who looked up at Rafael once more. “Thanks, Uncle Rafi. Thanks for answering my question. I knew you’d give a good answer when you said you don’t like El Diablo.” They watched her head down the hallway with Pru by her side, then enter the bedroom and close the door.

“El Diablo?” Sonny asked.

“Totally appropriate, too,” Rafael sighed. “C’mon, I’ll tell you about it in bed.” Wrapping an arm around Sonny’s waist, Rafael led his husband down the hall to their bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Notes for this chapter--
> 
> It is very common for victims of sexual assault to blame themselves, particularly children. Because of their lack of experience and the fact they are still developing, children tend to view themselves as the center of the world. This causes them to believe all sorts of things are their fault. Most pedophiles are highly manipulative anyway, and they are able to convince their victims that it is because of something the child did that they were molested. Pedophiles may also manipulate kids with other types of excuses--they could go to jail, they'll go away forever, our family will be broken apart, etc. There may also be threats made, such as hurting or killing people the child loves. Many times the pedophile is someone the child or the members of the child's family love and respect, so things get very complicated very quickly for children. It's very common for children to blame themselves for years after the abuse, which is why therapy is so important. A trained therapist can help a child sort things out and begin not to take on the blame and shame of abuse.
> 
> I want to point out here that Isabel's willingness to talk about all of this with Rafael so quickly is absolutely NOT realistic and totally and completely author's privilege. A more realistic scene would have Isabel avoiding the Barba-Carisi house for a long time, in all likelihood...it has bad memories for her, between her disclosure and the fight with her cousin, as well as her initial belief that Rafael was abusing Marley. So we're playing with definite fiction at this point.
> 
> We'll be learning more about Lucas and his previous victims soon. Obviously, Isabel was not his first victim. Most pedophiles have many, many victims over the years. I also wanted to be clear that Lucas' pattern is HIS alone. It's not necessarily typical of a real pedophile. However, in real life, one of the most insidious parts of child sexual abuse is that for many children, it is an ongoing, repetitive assault rather than a one-time occurrence. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always, always so appreciated.


End file.
